What Would I Be Without You
Convert your adversary into your inspiration by changing your perspective…
In one of her shows, Oprah Winfrey interviewed the Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh. Here, he explained how everything is in a state of ‘inter-are’, which essentially means that nothing exists without the other…
There is no left side without the right; the right exists because of the left and vice-versa.
This was one of the most profound thoughts I had heard in recent times. It was a moment of epiphany…
Much of life makes sense from this perspective. You realise that everything is interdependent, and nothing exists in isolation. It’s also a big leveller —
It moves the focus from ‘I’ to ‘You’… Ultimately, filling your heart with immense gratitude.
Take, for instance, my occupation as a writer — I can write and write, but if I have no one to read my work, my writing wouldn’t be as meaningful. The essence of my existence as a writer comes from the fact that I have willing readers.
Now, let’s go a step further… Think of competition and all the sports stars vying to be number one. They may think of their arch-rival as their nemesis, when, in fact, the competition is the very reason for their being.
Similarly, think of states of being and how one would be less significant if we didn’t have knowledge of the opposite —
You wouldn’t know success if you didn’t know failure; or feel health if you didn’t know sickness; or experience joy, if you’d never known suffering…
Now apply this to the challenges in your life.
Change emerges from dissatisfaction
Business and social revolutions are products of dissatisfaction. So is most change. When systems fail, societies disintegrate, or governments need an overhaul, we are more than willing to stand up and do something about it.
It’s only when we get sick of mediocrity, and fed up with sub-standard service, do we strive to create a new standard of excellence.
Dissatisfaction and change have an ‘inter-are’ relationship, and we can participate in it.
What is a source of dissatisfaction for you? Identify how you could change it, and then go ahead with your revolution.
Weakness gives rise to strength
Have you seen how a brush with illness can give more energy after recovery? The disease was a weakness your body had to conquer…
Your body brought your attention to the problem in the form of symptoms, so you could care for it, and provide it proper nourishment. After recovery, your body is now more immune, renewed, fit and able.
Any weakness can be like that… Give it the care it needs, and watch it grow into a strength.
Denial leads to acceptance
We live in denial for too long. We deny what we feel, what we want, what we truly believe. We deny ourselves that piece of chocolate, that moment of indulgence, the desire to dance as though no one is watching.
We think small…we play small. We stay in situations that don’t work, and deny ourselves better.
How do you replace this? Through acceptance — acceptance of what you want, how to get there, and who you want to be.
Don’t settle. Don’t deny yourself. Accept who you are, and let others see your magnificent self.
Power follows fear
Have you ever walked in a dark staircase or passageway late in the night, scared to death, afraid to look back? What if you looked back and found there was nothing behind you? Would you then feel power or fear?
Power comes from knowledge…fear from ignorance and false beliefs.
To get to the opposite side of fear and reach power, inculcate true knowledge — experiential, analytical, and intellectual knowledge. Once you make sense of patterns, you will then have the power to break away from them.
Once you’ve broken away from false beliefs and patterns, you’ve rid yourself of fear and given wings to the power of knowledge.
Victory comes after defeat
Is there any success story that hasn’t seen conflict and struggle? How many errors do you make before you finally get it right? How many rejections do you receive before you win a big assignment? How many heartbreaks do you have, before you finally choose the one to marry?
Thich Nhat Hanh says, even a lotus grows in dirty water…
That dirty water is our struggle. But, to emerge from it is victory. And, to know that we become victorious because of it, is to know the state of ‘inter-are’.
Don’t let defeat get the better of you. Know that there is no one side, or one condition, or one state of being that is complete by itself… All you need to do is flip the coin, and you will find victory!
The article was first published on Common Sense Living, a digital publication with new-age lifestyle and wealth-building ideas.
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